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The biggest winners of the Pandemic that no one is talking about

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There is a group of people that no one is talking about during this Pandemic. People whose lives are just a little easier because of social distance.. 

I’m talking about Sweaty Palm People. There aren’t a lot of people saying who the winners are in this Pandemic. But SPP’s are clearly in the Top 10. 

Time to get real-real. My hands have always leaned in the “moist” direction. For those that know me, this has probably been obvious at times. Maybe I have said hi to you and shook your hand, or did a full handshake>bro shake>bro hug>hand dap>fist bump (One of my go-to’s) and you felt like I was still with you, when we separated. That was some sweat, courtesy of my hands. 

I have even tried to be part of the joke when someone wipes their hand after touching mine. It’s mostly awkward laughing.

So, why is this a big time win for me and other SPP’s in the Pandemic? 

Well every Sunday, for years, The Our Father would be said in Mass and I knew what was coming next: The Sign of Peace. 

This is when during Mass, we take the Peace given to us by Jesus when he was Ascending into Heaven. And we give that Peace to everyone who near us.

There were weeks my hands were bone-dry and I would go up and down the aisle, taking full advantage of my Sahara Desert hands. I would shake, shake, and shake, and Give peace to everyone. Peace from Jesus, through me, to you. You’re welcome. 

But then there were weeks where my hands were clammy. Not a great feeling when you shake someone’s hand, then you see them discreetly wipe their hands on their pants. 

I see you buddy. I appreciate you clandestinely wiping your hands on your freshly pressed church pants, and even pretending like it was a part of your routine as you’re getting ready to kneel. Hand wipe on pants. Subtle hand clap, into an arm fold, and then reaching down to get the kneelers for everyone, like a gentleman. I appreciate that..

But, sometimes though, I am full on SPP, and there is nothing I can do. I can get away with a hug to those in close proximity, and family and close friends know the deal. But sometimes there is an over-eager peace giver, and they are staring at me right in the face, and I have no choice but to shake, and our hands look like 2 prize fighters in the 12th round. Not really a peaceful moment for either party. 

So fast forward, through an international Pandemic, and we are at a time where we give peace just by head nods, or peace signs, if you’re really Meta. And I am thriving during this time. My natural extrovert self likes to take a break and talk to some people in the middle of mass, so now that the sign of peace, are all Peace signs, and no hand shaking?? Everyone in a 20 pew radius is getting a Peace Sign. Everyone. 

I am even giving a Richard Nixon, double peace sign wave to people, and overall, I think it’s successful. I don’t think it comes across as too showy, and the people even sometimes give me one right back, which is cool. 

I know this won’t be forever. Because as we shed the Pandemic, we will want things to return to normal. And that will include, going back to the regular handing shaking in the sign of peace. 

But for now, I can enjoy the whispers of peace through my teeth, and double peace sign waves, to anyone who will look my way. 

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